Life is what happens when you're busy making Plans

If I gave a graduation speech, it would have this theme.

Seize opportunity. 

The most inspiring people I have met in life are not those who simply climbed up the ladder to success. It's the ones who took each path that was offered, sometimes bounding from one to another, or taking several at the same time. The people who have been welders, wilderness therapy providers and dental assistants before settling into politics. And although some planning and goal setting is part of this process....the main thing they have in common is that they seize opportunity. Whether it fits in with the career path, or seems totally out of the way-- they take chances, even if they get messy and make mistakes.

This blog isn't really about them though. It's about how plans change, and how life is about making lemonade. And adapting to lemonade without sugar. I heard some 8 year-olds sharing wisdom recently... "If life hands me lemons, I SQUEEZE them into the EYES of LIFE!" said one clever little punk kid. Another responded: "I mean, what's the point. It's not like life hands you sugar. If you squeeze the lemons, you just get lemon juice."

I knew that life had quite a bit to dish to me on this, my 28th year, my Saturn return. I knew that the man I had obsessed over since I felt my first feelings of love would be gone from my life too soon. I knew that his greatest legacy to me would be the paths he opened up for me... but I had no idea it would be like this. 

A month ago, I was planning on spending this evening driving to Colorado, to get married the next day. Nothing special... a little party, some paperwork. We were then going to drive into Texas on an epic road trip-- I can't even imagine how that would have gone down-- to celebrate at our favorite water park before staying a night or two with my folks and him meeting my family. Plans. Just little words on paper. Shared thoughts through computer screens. Hopes and ideas. Fantasies of the future.

What's really strange to me is how possible it all seemed a month ago, and how impossible it all is now...and there was no inbetween. I've had someone disappear from my life before, but there was always the possibility of stalking and internet searches... It's been hard to wrap my head around his encompassing absence.

So... in lieu of getting married to the man of my dreams. [Literally the man who made me believe in paradise on earth...despite all his flaws and shortcomings...] I'm opting to seize new opportunities. Not right away. I hope it's going to be a slow journey. (Everything has been a little too fast lately)
I'm going to go to work instead of getting married. (I might have a few breakdowns). I'm going to fly home instead of driving. I'm going to dive into 10 weeks of working in the woods with a talented crew of like-minded people. and I'm going to try to spend some time with myself.
But also-- I'm going to explore the opportunities that only exist because of my relationship with him--new people, relationships, family and friends... new ideas... a whole rabbit hole he left me.

Rest Easy, Sweet Sid <3

Super Powers

The classic question... "If you were a super hero, what would your superpower be?"
Of course, flight and mind-reading have long been deemed sexy. Ambitions of each have outlived the question.... and dreams of making these powers a reality have inspired inventions that have changed our lives every day. The Wright Bros weren't trying to be heroes when they launched their bi-plane. They were simply trying to achieve a dream that others perceived was the work of gods, out of the realm of human possibility.

I have thought of some clever responses. I've actually considered the question quite a bit.
My number one answer: the ability to remember everything I've ever learned. I think I would be much more willing to learn languages if I could store all that data up there....and no crazy equipment is necessary...we only use 0 or so percent of our brains as it is? Nevermind that we're on the cusp of artificial intelligence, and half robot-humanoids.
On a similar vein-- to be able to understand and communicate in any language, even dead ones, would be fascinating. 

But last night I had a new thought. Driving back from a friends house in the cold, a homeless-looking man passed in front of me. I always think about picking up hitch hikers, passersby, or anyone who needs help, but after remembering a horror story or two, decide that today won't be the day. I HATE that I am held back by fear to help another...when I have so much to give. ...I found myself thinking that a great super power would be some sort of force-field or immortality that would repel any abuse...so that I could help those in need without fear.
Then I had a similar thought this morning. I can't remember now what power I was day dreaming of but it inspired a thought: "super powers" are just outrageous goals. ..if we can fine-tune them, and set some parameters, they COULD be achievable- at least in some fraction.
If I really want a better memory, I can work on that.  Flight? Well, as I type this I'm looking down 8000 feet at the city of Dallas below. I've been acknowledged for my ability to read minds, which I attribute to simply paying attention, and having care. Oh, another favorite super-power? That I could eat whatever I want and not gain weight... I'm getting better about eating a healthy (or reasonable portion) of foods I love...and teaching myself to love low-calorie foods that make me feel great, like kale, carrots and cabbage.
As I was boarding the plane this morning, this monologue running through my head, I asked a woman if I could sit in the empty window seat in the row she was sitting in. Her response to my simple request that she let me slip by her was a sour look and long sigh. I thought, she could use the power of grace- learning that to smile a bit and have a sense of humor/not take life too seriously will get you far (though she was probably 70, so she's clearly gotten pretty far along without it).  And I reliazed how attainable that goal would be...and that it didn't require some magic stone or strange goo for us to slowly gain these powers.
I'm starting my year with some new super powers... The power of clarity, for one... acquired by taking time to make decisions and envision the full picture. I'm also working on my power to focus, by creating incentives for achieving full tasks, and setting times for distractions like boyfriends and facebook. 

I think it is also important to recognize the powers I have worked on for years, that have taken years of practice. For years I made a goal of living in the present, and lately, as I reflect more than ever on my past, I've become aware at how good I have become at living Now.
This year, we can all attain super powers. They all start relatively week, but just as I work on my biceps or abs every morning, I will continue to strengthen my new skills...until by my own effort (or the help of a super computer of the future) I have developed a super power...and you can too. 

So, if you could have any super power, what would it be? And how are you going to attain it?