I'm speechless...

and yet, I have a lot to say.
My brain has been racing all day in attempt to express my heart's various emotions- news from Trump's latest Executive Orders, the nostalgia of traveling home, the mixed joy of being welcomed by 80 degree weather in January, more news, and the shock, anger and devastation that comes with it, curiosity for what our future generations will be left to contend with, hope, lack of hope, and inspiration in strange places.

I couldn't even pour through all the saved articles and responses from my affected friends, colleagues and professors without needed to write a response.

Mid-day I glimpse that Trump banned the EPA from using social media to talk about Climate Change. This is censorship and propaganda. I'm thankful for social media and live reporting and sensible people, and a college degree (in Environmental Studies) and having friends as scientists so that I can stay informed, but I realize not everyone has that, and many will be, or already have been, swept up in Trump's positive affirmations and "alternative facts". (An interesting report on EPA-related 'civil servants' and their resistance, here)

On the way home, driving through the traffic-saturated streets of Austin with my mom, who I hadn't seen in 8 months, I overheard that Trump halted EPA related funding. Before I make it home, I hear friends' worries about graduate school funding-- from current and prospective students. I wonder if I should apply to that school in Britain before it's too late...

We drive through an ever-changing Austin. An area I always called home, but hardly recognize. Where there were once acres of land with vast swaths of wildflowers, there are For-Sale signs promising future developments, or current shopping megaplexes and housing developments touting the names of the space they've destroyed.

Happy (and Hopeful) and Warm

At Home, with the news blaring reports of a segment, "Trump's First Days in Office," I'm thankful I don't have a television. Until I realize I have the privilege to sit down with my mom and watch a PBS special about Rachel Carson, the famed author who both my mom and I read about in our Environmental classes. Carson always knew she would be a writer, and couldn't remember a time she didn't love nature, all inspired from her mother. I wonder if my mother's spiritual connection to the Earth was a key to it's impact on me, if I have a weird connection to the world, or if everyone has an innate understanding of the Earth ingrained within them, however suppressed it may be. Perhaps it's all three, but I hope and believe that everyone can appreciate the aesthetics of our Umvelt.

I walk outside in a t-shirt, as the sun it setting. Several deer hear me and spring out into the juniper. Another snorts, stamps his hooves and runs the other way. I am touched to the soul by the sound of the crickets, a familiar chorus that reminds me of Summer and of Home. I inhale the wholesome, bitter smell of tannin, walking right up to the Live Oak until it's leaves are to my lips. I kiss it, hoping that the Greed and fury of Capitalism won't buy out every old Oak and prickly-pear patch.
I admire the slight squish in the ground, and the abundance of green popping through-- an early sign of Texas Bluebonnets... and I wonder if the children born today will every get to walk among wildflowers.

Texas

I am shocked, but not surprised, by the news I heard today. And although I'm speechless, I have a lot to say. Hopefully it will be organized, and argued with facts, and encourage discussion.
But for today, here's all I can do.
1) Take care of self- A lot of sickness/flu things are going around. As a doomsday pessimest, I'm always wondering if this is it-- the last great epidemic that wipes us out. At the very least, we should stay as healthy as possible. Know that every ounce you put into your body is your fuel, and if it's tainted with pesticides or chemicals, those things can add up (thanks Rachel Carson).

2) Stay informed (and/or get educated). I intend to spend more of my free time re-reading history, as it's never been my favorite subject, and staying up to date on Environmental research, and whatever they're calling Climate Change now that Trump has basically banned that phrase.

3) Stay hopeful. The Rachel Carson documentary was very appropriately timed. There were many parallels between the Government Propaganda of the 60's, and what Trump is trying to do now, particularly with the influence of industry on the Government.  At one point today, I lost hope. "Greed will prevail" I thought, trying to hold in tears watching Rachel Carson fight for environmental awareness. But then I saw all my friends fighting back, signing petitions and educating one another. So, I still have hope. I also have faith in many environmental organizations that I have contributed to in the past, that I'm about to fund more. Hopefully they can reach farther than I can.

In my recent travels through the Midwest, I listened to a lot of public radio... much of which didn't share my opinions. One radio host complained that the Right weren't fighting as hard as the Left. That was a bit surprising to me at first, but I think it comes down to this-- when you have nothing left to lose, you fight. When you're so broken, you're angry, you fight. At this point, I feel there's nothing to do but fight. Fight to keep public lands. To prevent oil spills. To have half an Earth left for future generations (I'm being hopeful there). That speaker's Republicans aren't weak. They just aren't (as) angry.

Re: State of the Union (or, Sh!t's getting political)

[[PEARLS BEFORE SWINE_ Too Many People]

I took advantage of an opportunity to enjoy some drinks and a delicious veggie burger with like-minded people in the heart of Austin, while watching the State of the Union address last night. It was the first time I had watched since college, as I always feel as though I should be interested , but unsure of exactly what I’m interested in.  Of course, I have always considered myself a sort of Lorax- here to speak for the trees and our environment that is so unspoken for in our world, but I wasn’t sure how to integrate my passions with politics, especially as I’m traveling around and don’t have local level to focus on.
I can’t brag about having a clear political focus these days, but it was clear to me from watching Obama’s speech last night that I definitely have some un-wavering opinions.
I remember talking to a friend while I was in my second year of college, and he was in the masters program in engineering. He was berating me a bit for not having solid opinions, but I thought of myself that time as a sponge, just soaking up all the opinions there are, to be determined what I cared about most later on. Well, this is later, and I think I can form my political priorities into a simple haiku.
Amend our mindset.
 Reform education. Live
 in communities.
With that stated, here were some of my thoughts from the state of the union address. (This if my first time, by the way, publicizing my political agenda…but I feel like if you read any of this blog, none of this will come as a surprise).
The frame of the SoTU-watching party was in the form of “climate bingo” where we were all given papers with Bingo sheets, and different climate-related words that Obama might say. I did get a bingo, but not first.
I was not surprised to check off investment, jobs, security, infrastructure, debt, or innovation. But I was surprised to hear him mention floods, drought, air, communities, and “world-class education,” the latter being what he hopes America can provide. Honestly, it’s going to take a lot more than any bill that congress can pass to bring our education system up to where it needs to be, let alone “world class,” but the fact that it’s becoming more of a priority is exciting. I liked what Obama said about the work ethic of America, and reducing our energy consumption, not just changing the resources we’re using to get energy (much easier said than done, though). Investing $100 billion in natural gas is kind of missing the point, for example, but it’s a step toward “investing in fuels of the future” which I guess will be the job of the next president (assuming our planet doesn’t collapse before then).
Regardless of the specific words and phrases that Obama uses, the speech revolved around a specific theme- a theme that makes me want to shun politics and news and American culture altogether. This ‘business as usual’ paradigm that American’s are entitled to a house, 2 kids, a white picket fence and the job of their dreams. As long as everyone in America believes that’s what they’re entitled to, the environmental victories that Obama promised, and even the idealist bills that he hopes to pass that affect people’s everyday lives are going to be impossible. Even as he talks about the environment, he’s speaking to a group of over a hundred people who are wearing expensive suits made from unsustainable, or man-made fibers like cotton or polyester, who probably drove there themselves. We need a complete paradigm shift toward communal living if any of his dreams are going to play out. But how?