Two Thousand and Twenty Two- A year of Transience

 Perhaps it is appropriate that my end of year recap is [two months] late, as one of the themes I struggled with in 2022 was procrastination. 

When I think about to the last year, its easy for me to focus on the struggles, the arguments, the journaling through tears, and wondering what the heck was I was actually doing with my life. But when I strip all that back, I see a year of incredible opportunity. 

My year started in Texas, where I soaked up the comforts of home with a clear trajectory to finally pursue a goal I had been chasing for 5 years- to enter a graduate program abroad. 

This photo is NOT Texas. For obvious reasons, most of my most picturesque photos are in NM, not TX.

In January I drove from Texas to Taos to drive down to Santa Fe to shuttle some students up to Colorado for a week long snow-shoe trip. Not being a big fan of winter, I was nervous that I would freeze my ass off. But thanks to the kindness of friends(' winter gear), and the luck of a sun-filled week, I thrived watching students descend an epic snow covered hill on sleds. 

In February, for the first time in 3 months of back-and-forth travel, I stayed in one place, spending my birthday in my hometown with family and friends for the first time in years. It was during this month that I made arrangements to take a leap- manifesting my own opportunity. This would turn out to the horrifying and incredibly rewarding. When was the last time you wanted to do something that didn't exist, created it, and then completed it?

There were some cold nights in Tucumcari, in which I was happy for my van's stove.

In March I moved into my van, drove to Tucumcari, New Mexico and spent the next two months working 40 hours a week at classifying Carboniferous fossils. Duck went to daycare for $5 a day. We walked everywhere we needed to go. I made new friends in a small community and saw more models of RV than I ever knew existed. I also took a break from fossils to drive to Colorado to take a group of female students from across the country on a backpacking trip in Utah. It was my first time in Grand Gulch and it was amazing to walk amongst some relatively undisturbed ancient dwellings.

Due to forest closures,
I got to hike here 3 days in a row. 

By May, I had gotten into the flow of van life. My internship ended but there was still a lot of work to do, that I hoped to return to someday. I drove back to the little mountain cove of Taos. Unsure of where to park my van, I spent a few nights parked in the yard of a family I've worked with for years, (The husband tragically died in a car accident a month later) before getting offered to stay at a house for two months. I cried cooking myself a meal for the first time in months, and spent the rest of the summer incredibly grateful for luxuries like: space, shelter, privacy, internet, a bathtub (with jets), a clean shower, an oven, a place to leave my dog when its hot outside. 

As early as April, I started training for the Up and Over- a 10k race that gains 3000 feet in elevation and then descends it. It would be my first 10k since 2007, when I ran the Capitol 10k in Austin and vowed as I crossed the finish line that I would NEVER run that far again. Indeed, I almost didn't-- despite training on hills and pushing distance for four months, the only time since 2007 that I have actually run 10 kilometers was during a very flat practice run in Avon, Colorado a week before my race. You could argue that because of the intense side-stitch I experienced in the final quarter mile, I didn't actually "run" a 10k during the race. 

In addition to running, my summer was satiated by gorgeous views of monsoons, long dog walks, high alpine adventures (some with lightning), visits with friends, a river-side wedding, and side explorations with my dog Duck. I spent a very wet weekend backpacking in the mountains, and several days with some amazing kids exploring the Sand Dunes and an amazing waterfall. One of the memorable moments was an emotional evening when my friend Jake and I decided it would benefit us both to be in partnership. :) 

 

My job is awesome.

As the summer drew to an end, I wasn't really sure what the rest of my year entailed. Having decided in May that I didn't have the financial means to make graduate school a possibility this year (Even in the unlikely event that I got full scholarships), my fall was unexpectedly open. I went home to celebrate my step-grandpa's 90th birthday with my entire incredibly family, and then stuck around to house-sit for my parents and enjoy their luxuries once more. I applied to and got offered a job in Australia, but I have another draft of a blog post about that adventure. 

July 22nd- Road Trip to CO

 

By mid-September, hastened by my parents returning with covid- I packed up my stuff and moved back to Taos, this time moving my stuff from my van to my boyfriend's place-- an old hippie commune built in the 70s, complete with unique housemates, farm land and a donkey named Daphne. I went straight into another backpacking trip, this time exploring a piece of New Mexico I had skirted for years, in the Pecos and climbing Santa Fe Baldy. 

In October, I met some amazing and inspiring high school students from around the world, and walked with them into the Grand Canyon. It was my fourth time at Grand Canyon but my first time descending into the canyon, and it was a spiritual experience. After days of listening to cicadas and speaking entry-level German, we went to Hopi where we were welcomed with wonderful words and energy. The whole week was truly profound, and I felt changed by the experience. Less than a week later I accompanied a rambunctious group of 6th graders to Ghost Ranch and then got to settle into my own bed for a few weeks. 

It WAS grand.

In November, I only had one overnight trip- in which the sun set by 6:00pm, and the temperatures dropped to 22 degrees. Apart from frozen hands, spirits were high. The rest of my month was spent settling, reflecting, and teaching fitness classes. And returning to ABQ, where I got to see some old friends and old co-workers who tried to woo me back into my old organization. I attended my third art festival with my partner, who sells pottery. 

December marked the start of winter, and cold, and me getting covid for the first time, and eating a pot brownie so strong that I was high for days. At the end of the month I got to housesit, and enjoy another wonderful space with luxuries like a gas fireplace, a hot tub, a washer AND dryer and a kitchen that's not shared with half a dozen other people. Then I came home for the holidays and counted down the days until 2023. 

Upon reflection-- I spent a lot of time in the mountains. But I also spent a lot of time in the mountains feeling uncomfortable, unsettled, unsure of whether I wanted to continue the work I've done for a decade that takes me to such heights, or if its time to challenge myself in other ways... 2023 so far has proven to guide me.